The Moose is Loose Again

This week, the Tribune unveiled its new look. Paid media analysts could describe it better, but the "World's Greatest Newspaper" has moved off into a View-Master direction: Bigger pictures, less words.

Knowing the Tribune the way you do, that should undoubtedly be a good thing, right? Fewer words mean less smarminess, bias, and factual flubs. Jury's still out on that, though.

On page one of Saturday's Tribune sports sits Rick Morrissey, all by his lonesome. See, that's the way the Trib does it now; one supersized picture tells the "story," and then some copy at the bottom expounds on it for those of us who don't think a newspaper should be a series of flash cards.

Anyhow, Moose is writing about the White Sox, stuck in a two-game hole in the ALDS. Unlike Phil Rogers' page two story, which effectively dresses down the team's homer-or-nothing offense and highlights the astounding fact that on Friday, the White Sox had 12 hits, on which not a single runner advanced more than one base, the Moose wastes his lede on an old, tired tune. You know, the one that goes something like: White Sox fans hate the Cubbies more than they like the White Sox.

The way things are going, White Sox fans soon will be able to fall back on their natural pastime: the intense enjoyment of watching the Cubs fall apart.

Good one, Rick. See, a lede like that is rubber-stamped forward at the Trib copy desk because it's a twofold insult. First, dis White Sox fans (representing a huge percentage of Tribune readership in spite of themselves, by the way) by insulting their devotion and intelligence. Second, perpetuate the Tribune myth that The Shrine is the center of the universe by positing that White Sox fans, even on the heels of a thrilling and gutsy run into the postseason and in the midst of losses and offensive ineptitude in the ALDS, could give a flip about the North Side Bumblers.

Sure, Moose is the Trib's designated comedian, wedging one-liners into his copy so awkwardly you wish one day he had been booed off the stage at a Zanies amateur night just to spare him the future embarrassment of trying to be funny in print. But good lord, he had upwards of three hours to come up with a good joke lede--and you didn't have to watch every pitch Friday to know there were plenty available--and the best he can muster is a retread insult to White Sox fans?

With every outing, Morrissey seems more like that doofus you knew in school: well-meaning, not a kid you wanted to see picked on, but someone you hoped would grow up and get a clue.

Well Rick, you're in your fifth decade now. Time is running out for you to do so.

--Brett Ballantini

Clobberin' with Lies

Dave van Dyck was responsible for writing up Saturday night's White Sox game story.

(Those of you who just cringed, bonus points for appreciating Tricky Van Dyck's special brand of "writing.")

With the White Sox's offense back in full force and scoring outrageous amounts of runs, you'd think Tricky V.D. would shoot right out of the gate with a delicious lede. Perhaps he'd mention Joe Crede's four home runs in the past two games, an accomplishment not attained by a White Sox player in nine seasons. How about 64 hits in five games so far in the homestand? Hey, he couldn't even be blamed for leading with news of the rarest of baseball accomplishments, a Paul Konerko triple.

No, the lede for the story detailing the White Sox's trampling of Minnesota, their fiercest rival and closest Central Division trailer, by a lopsided, 11-2 margin avoids any such pertinence:

They may have the worst winning percentage of any team leading a division, but the White Sox have a bigger lead than the best team, the Cubs.

Now, let's try to ignore how horrible Tricky Van Dyck's writing is and how lazy and convoluted a lede this is. As is to be expected from a writer from a newspaper that prides itself more on torpedoing its crosstown rival than reporting facts, Tricky Van Dyck's lede is simply wrong.

The division leader with the worst record is not the red-hot White Sox but the Arizona Diamondbacks, whose 34-28 record trails the White Sox by a full 1.5 games. Moreover, the north side bumblers are no longer the "best" team in baseball as the Trib's Hall of Fame-nominated hatchet man implies--they're now tied with the L.A. Angels at 39-24.

Apparently the Tribune sports editors "missed" the falsities when they "fact-checked" Homer Dave's story.

— Submitted by Cubune Watcher Edward B., with an assist from Brett Ballantini