Hell's Getting Chilly

What a remarkable two days it has been for Chicago White Sox fans.

First, Jay Mariotti, leading shouter at Sun-Times sports, resigned within hours of returning from his Bright One-sponsored visit to China. Word on the street is that the Mighty Mullet got no closer than a rickshaw to actual sporting competitions while overseas--a masterful feat given that dozens were held daily. (In Chicago, Jay merely must avoid one, at most two, active clubhouses per day in order to "take the pulse" of the Chicago sports scene.)

Today, arguably an even greater miracle occurred: unprompted praise of the White Sox, at the expense of the Cubbies, by Tribune "baseball expert" Phil Rogers.

You can read the article (White Sox are Cubs' Worst Nightmare) yourself, as we don't much enjoy a you-scratch-my-back-I'll-scratch-yours arrangement with the Tribune. But this bit of honest analysis made for a stunning read this morning.

Mariotti resigns. Dr. Phil praises the Sox.

Due tomorrow: Minnie Minoso buys the Cubbies.

--Brett Ballantini

Perfection by Omission

Paul Sullivan practices a common Tribune tactic in his ebullient take on the finish to his north sider's second win of the season on Sunday. Call it "perfection by omission."

Sully breathlessly reports that closer-until-broken Kerry Wood was able to "pick up his second save in two tries with a perfect ninth inning."

Now, to the letter, Sully isn't fudging here. Wood, despite a 9.00 ERA and 1.33 WHIP, has not yet blown a save in two tries.

But there's an implication in the writing that Wood's been perfect this season, that 1-2-3 9ths are just another day at the office for him, the long-time Cub, first-time closer.

Heh, not exactly. It was a mere six days earlier that Wood debuted disastrously, handing the game to the Brewers in the 9th before receiving a complete, three-run bailout from Kosuke Fukodome in the bottom of the inning.

Sullivan was at that game too, right? Let's check. Yep, here you go: "But the day was a total downer for Carlos Zambrano, who remains winless in four Opening Day starts and left in the seventh inning with forearm cramps. And for Kerry Wood, who allowed three runs in the ninth in his debut as the Cubs' closer."

After Wood's implosion, visitors to ChicagoSports.com voted by a 74% landslide that Wood be replaced by the electric Carlos Marmol as the team's closer. Comcast SportsNet's you-scratch-my-back-I'll-scratch-yours Chicago Tribune Live, the talking head survey of all Chicago sports that just happens to star a panel of experts almost exclusively culled from the dank Tribune catacombs (the White Sox played on Comcast that day, but the Cubbies still managed to cut in line for coverage), was just as hysterical in its debate.

If the White Sox's Bobby Jenks had just completed his second save in two tries but badly misfired in his first outing of the year, is there any chance whatsoever that Tribune coverage merely would laud Jenks for the two-for-two and conveniently overlook the fact that he needed a barf bag to escape his outing in the opener?

You know the answer to that rhetorical question. Never. Ever.

Apparently Sully feels Kerry Wood's psyche is as fragile as all his reconditioned arm pieces. And that Chicago sports fans aren't smart enough to catch the insipid bias that seeps into every Tribune sports page.

--Brett Ballantini