A Slight Acquaintance with Ethics

Today New York Times theater critic Ben Brantley discloses in a review that he knows Joan Didion, the author whose memoir and life inspired the play Brantley is reviewing.

Brantley writes, "For the record I have a slight social acquaintance with Ms. Didion." A slight social acquaintance. At moments like these I can't help but think of our own small-town rag, The Chicago Tribune, which printed an 8,000-word series about a Field Museum project without disclosing that managing editor James O'Shea was married to the Field Museum's publicist, or that president of Tribune publishing Jack Fuller was dating a Field Museum scientist featured in the series.

The Tribune is Dirty. It's as dirty as an El station elevator. I don't know how they can still deny it. The evidence is overwhelming. We object to this sort of thing routinely on this page, because it happens so often with the Cubs. The examples are preserved in print for ethicists to study in the Tribune autopsies of the future:

Tribune Architecture Critic Blair Kamin writing an absurdly saccharine review of the new bleachers at Wrigley Field — without disclosing that he is directly invested in that building, not just as an employee of the company that owns it, but as a stockholder. (Because Tribune employees receive Tribune stock in their benefits).

Tribune Business Correspondent David W. Greising writing that the White Sox aren't as "big" as the Cubs just days after the Sox won the World Series — without disclosing that he is directly invested in the baseball market, not just as an employee of the company that owns the Cubs, but as a stockholder.

Chicago Magazine Editor Richard Babcock steering tourists to Wrigley Field in the magazine's tourism edition — but wait, there's more — and steering those who can't get a ticket to his own office building, the Tribune Store in the Tribune Tower, to buy a Cubs cap to wear while watching the game on television (on WGN, no doubt) — without disclosing that he is directly invested in the Cubs, not just as an employee of the company that owns them, but as a stockholder.

"But wait!" the suits are howling, in their joint offices in the Tribune Tower, "Chicago Magazine is different from the Chicago Tribune!"

If only it were. It's all one big ethically-compromised monolith of mediocrity. Consider:

WGN reporter Muriel Clair producing a "news" segment about Careerbuilder's new ad campaign right before the campaign's Super Bowl debut, without disclosing that both WGN and Careerbuilder are owned by the Tribune Company, meaning that Clair is invested in Careerbuilder, not just as an employee of the company that owns it, but as a stockholder. The unethical report was then repeated on Tribune-owned CLTV and embedded on the front page of chicagotribune.com. It's all one big ethically-compromised monolith of mediocrity.

Dirtier than the doormat it lands on.

Oodles of Oops

Twenty days ago we asked "if anyone at the Tribune has the cojones to say, at minimum, 'Gee, maybe we were wrong'" in their relentless criticism of Ken Williams' winter trades. Well, today Phil Rogers doesn't go quite so far as to explicitly admit he was wrong, but he does say the converse: "Oops! Maybe Sox got it right."

Rogers focuses on the trade of Brandon McCarthy to Texas for John Danks, but he admits the trade of Freddy Garcia to Philly is also showing more upside for the Sox, even if Gio Gonzalez and Gavin Floyd haven't worked out their kinks yet. (Rogers doesn't mention two other promising trades: Ross Gload to the Royals for Andrew Sisco; Neal Cotts to the Cubs for David Aardsma and Carlos Vasquez.)

Phil Rogers gets a well-deserved Cubune Watch golf clap for the mea culpa, but the Tribune still has some work to do on its humility and its research. Cubune Watcher Brett Balantini writes of Rogers' column, "I don't think I've ever seen a (Tribune) article--game writeup, feature, column--that is so positive.... My second reaction is where was this column and this reaction over the winter? Where was the research that unearthed a pretty big nugget, that the Tigs were stunned when we got Danks for McCarthy? Where was the statement that scouts/execs see Danks with more upside than McCarthy?"

We'd also like to see the meatier mea culpa due from Dave van Dyck and Mark Gonzales, who have conducted a private war on Williams' trades, complete with espionage, including a premature report of Buehrle's departure (never corrected), a false controversy (never defused), and erroneous predictions of fan unrest (which never materialized).

Skeletons Rattling in Tribune Tower Closets

News emerged today that former Chicago Tribune managing editor James O'Shea was involved in a personal relationship with a publicist similar to the one that led to the messy resignation of LA Times Editorial Page Editor Andres Martinez on Thursday. And as seems to be standard practice at the Chicago Tribune, a blind eye was turned to the conflict of interest. This from former Tribune reporter John Cook, now with Radar Online:

Martinez wouldn't be the first newspaper editor to bed a professional spinner and pop open an ethical can of worms. Just ask Jim O'Shea, the Los Angeles Times's top editor. During the five years that O'Shea served as managing editor of the Chicago Tribune, O'Shea was married to a manager of media relations for Chicago's Field Museum.

The museum turned up in the Tribune's pages more than 1,200 times during O'Shea's tenure, sometimes raising eyebrows in the newsroom. (Full disclosure: Your humble correspondent was a Tribune reporter during O'Shea's tenure there.) In April 2004, for instance, the paper ran two back-to-back Page One stories lauding the museum's efforts to establish a nature preserve in rural Peru. The feel-good nature of the stories, their lack of news hook, their unusual length for a newspaper (more than 8,000 words total), and their prominent placement all had staffers wondering if they were an anniversary present to O'Shea's wife. As one Tribune staffer puts it today, "Why put this meaningless Field Museum story on Page One?" (Adding to the intrigue over the Peru series was the fact that Jack Fuller, then the president of Tribune Publishing, was dating a Field Museum scientist featured prominently—and favorably—in the stories.)

According to Cook, the Tribune did not disclose these conflicts to readers, which doesn't surprise us, because they rarely disclose conflicts.

If Tribune executives offer special treatment for their lovers at the Field Museum, are we really expected to believe they don't do the same for their company baseball team?

Tribune Preaches Ethics in LA

A Los Angeles Times editor resigned today after Times Publisher David Hiller — a former publisher of the Chicago Tribune — cancelled a planned special section because of an apparent conflict of interest. You can read the details about the whole messy LA divorce here. What we find fascinating, in particular, is Hiller's sudden discovery of ethics, and specifically, of ethical concerns about conflict of interest. There is something truly startling about hearing these words come out of the mouth of a Tribune executive:

"The problem with conflicts is, how do you know" what someone's motivation was, Hiller told the gathering of the newspaper's managers. "It might appear that something might not be quite right."

Excuse us for being flabbergasted.

The problem with conflicts is, how do you know what someone's motivation was? Indeed. How do we know the Tribune fairly covers the Cubs, a team it owns, and fairly covers the White Sox, who compete in the same market?

How do we know that Tribune reporters, who are directly invested in the Cubs through the Tribune stock in their benefits packages, fairly cover the Cubs and fairly cover the White Sox, who compete in the same market?

It might appear that something is not quite right when, for example, the Tribune prints 1,400 more stories mentioning the Cubs during the two regular seasons that the White Sox won and defended a World Series.

It might appear that something is not quite right when the Tribune enhances the color in photographs of the Cubs and diminishes the color in photographs of the White Sox.

It might appear that something is not quite right when the Tribune declares, the day after 1.75 million people celebrate the White Sox on the streets of Chicago, that the Cubs are still "biggest."

It might appear that something is not quite right when the Tribune declares, as the White Sox pass the Cubs in popularity polls, that the Cubs are still "the most lovable" team in Chicago.

But this isn't just about baseball. How do we know what someone's motivation was when the Tribune and WGN collaborate on stories promoting Tribune-owned Careerbuilder's new advertising campaign and declare, in those stories, that Careerbuilder is "the largest" job-search site?

How do we know what someone's motivation was when the Tribune gives front-page coverage to sexual assaults in Wrigleyville, home of its chosen people, and ignores them on the South Side?

How do we know what someone's motivation was? We don't know.

By the example Hiller has just established in Los Angeles, the Chicago Tribune ought to be cancelled, and its staff ought to resign. And that should have happened a long time ago, when Hiller was still publisher here. But it didn't happen. Nor was the Tribune cleaned up, so that the people of Chicago can have confidence in its journalism. Not only does the Tribune routinely indulge in conflict of interest here, it openly exploits its conflicts of interest, and it doesn't even try to meet the minimum ethical standard by declaring its conflicts in print.

I think this is called hypocrisy.

Grab Bag of Tribune Weirdness

First and foremost, in what is becoming an annual tradition, we are supposed to be worried about Bobby Jenks. Here's what Mark Gonzales writes in today's Tribune:

Jenks had been nagged by shoulder stiffness, but his velocity has been in the low 90s—a significant drop from his high-90 range of the past two seasons.

But here's an idea, Mark. Instead of comparing Jenks' spring speed to his regular-season speed, why not compare his spring speed this year to his spring speed last year. Here's what Gonzales wrote one year ago (when we were supposed to be worried about Jenks' weight slowing his pitches):

Opponents are batting .321 this spring against Jenks, who has walked eight and struck out two in eight innings. His fastball was clocked at 94 m.p.h., according to a veteran American League scout at the game.

The truth is, Bobby Jenks begins every spring with a hittable fast ball in the low 90s that gradually gains speed throughout the season until it becomes a blazing unhittable fastball roundabout July or so. Tribune writers ought to know this from reading their own stories. Comprehension often benefits from a little perspective, but the Tribune is always willing to withhold perspective in order to stoke controversy.


How Was Sammy Received?

According to Cubune House Organ Paul Sullivan, "Sosa heard more cheers than boos."

According to the Sun-Times, "The fans weren't quite as generous or forgiving, with as many boos as applause for the former Cubs slugger."

According to the Daily Herald, "When Sosa came to bat in the top of the first inning, the crowd of 11,674 reacted with a mix of polite applause and a smattering of boos."

According to blogger Al Yellon of BleedCubbieBlue, "from what I could hear out on the LF berm, probably 80% of people were booing Sammy when his name was announced."

According to Len Kasper and Bob Brenley, Sosa was booed.

(Thanks to Hangar18 and Dr.Crawdad of SoxandtheCity.net for contributing to this report.)


He's a Lumberjack and He's Okay

We probably shouldn't criticize the Tribune when they're trying to be positive about the White Sox, but they're so unaccustomed to it that sometimes they just end up sounding creepy. By Phil Rogers:

TUCSON, Ariz. -- Adam Russell is about as subtle as a lumberjack slamming a door.

How subtle is a lumberjack slamming a door? Maybe Phil should try to master straightforward comparisons before taking on something as difficult as the simile. Continuing:

He stands 6 feet 8 inches and carries his 250 pounds like a linebacker.

Wait, is he a lumberjack or a linebacker? Are linebackers more subtle than lumberjacks when slamming a door? Because maybe Phil could have just stuck with linebacker from the start. But wait, we're not done with the manly-man job descriptions:

He has a beard, not some wimpy soul patch. He was blessed with a cannon of a right arm, which he has learned to use to good effect.

Phil prefers his men bearded and armed with cannon, like um, a pirate.


Sully Attempts Sarcasm... We Think

Likewise, we should probably be happy when the Tribune criticizes the Cubs, but often we can't tell if that's really what they're doing. We think (and hope) that Cubune House Organ Paul Sullivan was attempting sarcasm here:

MESA, Ariz. -- The Cubs' rotation has four starters with career highs of either 15 or 16 wins, so things should go smoothly if Rich Hill builds on his strong second half and the four veterans match their career-best seasons.

Sarcasm, simile, crowd noises, remembering your own stories from last year... shew! It's tough being a Tribune sportswriter.

Tribune Forgets to Stick to its Story

Wait. According to Tribune sportswriter Dave van Dyck, the White Sox planned to select Gavin Floyd as their fifth starter at the beginning of Spring training:

TUCSON, Ariz. -- This is not going according to the spring schedule. By now, the White Sox had hoped to anoint Gavin Floyd as their fifth starter, thus explaining the trades of Freddy Garcia to the Phillies and Brandon McCarthy to the Rangers. (March 8)

But according to Tribune sportswriter Mark Gonzales, the White Sox planned to select their fifth starter at the end of Spring training:

Thus the latest developments in the fifth-starter's race reinforced the Sox's decision to wait until the end of spring training before selecting a winner. (March 19)

As the cops in the 9th Ward precinct house are always telling me and my buddies: "Sumpin' ain't right here boys. Der's holes in yer story."

Normally Gonzales is pretty good about backing his buddy's story, but maybe Gonzales just can't keep up. (I mean, let's say you manage a baseball team. Would you pick your pitching staff at the beginning of Spring Training, before you've seen your pitchers pitch? Or at the end, after you've seen them pitch. Hmm. Tough one.) From the evidence above it's clear enough that someone is making stuff up. But who knows? Maybe they all are.

How Tribune Views the 'City'

We're about to treat you to another classic case of Freudian leakage in the Tribune, a false and self-serving assumption that slipped out of its cage in a Tribune writer's mind and appeared in print in the newspaper. Doesn't the Tribune have any editors? This one disrespects not only the White Sox, but the Bears, the Bulls, the Blackhawks, and every other Chicago team that has won a championship in the last century. From a March 15 story by, you guessed it, Dave van Dyck again:

So Ted Lilly has gone from being a pitcher never more than two games above .500 in a season to one with $10 million expectations for this season. And in a city that is approaching 100 seasons of unfulfilled expectations.

"A city that is approaching 100 seasons of unfulfilled expectations." Here's how Cubune Watcher Dan Grillo received van Dyck's sloppy sentence: "Um ... city? Excuse me? CITY? I guess the events of October, 2005 never did happen. Not to mention the events of October 1917. And 1985 and every other Bears championship, along with the Jordan Dynasty. Poof. Gone in a flash. It seems that the opinion of Trib employees is that because the company team hasn't won anything in close to 100 years, then all of Chicago is wallowing in disappointment. The 'city' won't truly feel fulfilled until the Cubs win it all.

"I feel a better choice of words might have been 'Lilly has gone from being a pitcher never more than two games above .500 in a season to one with $10 million expectations for this season, and for a team that is approaching 100 years of unfulfilled expectations.' That wouldn't have been so hard."

No, that wouldn't have been so hard. Dan also reminds us of the eternal thread at White Sox Interactive called Write Tomorrow's Cubune Headline: "One of the running jokes is that the Cubune is denying the events of October, 2005. Well, truth, as they say, may truly be stranger than fiction."

Much of the work on this entry was done by Cubune Watcher Dan Grillo and by Hangar18 at SoxandtheCity.net.

Finding the Dark Cloud in the Silver Lining

It's no secret that the Tribune has it out for the White Sox pitching staff. Since the Tribune has tried its damnedest to sow dissent by openly opposing Ken William's off-season trades (and then falsely attributing its opposition to Sox fans), it really needs the pitching staff to fail. You can hear them muttering prayers to Satan when you walk past the Dark Tower. So we haven't heard much about the outstanding performance of some pitchers, and when we do hear about it, the Tribune often manages to qualify the praise with some overstated concern, like this Tribune tidbit:

Left-hander Andrew Sisco allowed his first run in four appearances, Howie Kendrick's game-winning homer in the eighth. Sisco will need to retire right-handed batters to be an important part of the Sox's bullpen.

Sisco has allowed only two hits all Spring, and the Tribune has decided, on the basis of one of those hits, that he can't handle right-handed batters? Please. By the way, we got Sisco for Ross Gload.

Tribune Raises Attendance Flag (and L Flag)

The very moment that the White Sox sweep the Cubs in Spring Training, attendance returns as the Tribune's primary baseball statistic, only now the Tribune is actually fascinated by Spring-Training attendance. It's right in the lede of Mark Gonzales' story:

TUCSON, Ariz. -- Cubs fans did the White Sox a favor Friday by contributing to the Sox's first sellout at Tucson Electric Park this spring.

Yes, that's the lede of a story about the White Sox beating the Cubs 7-6 yesterday. Gonzales continues a sentence later:

The Cubs saw their three-run, game-tying rally off Bobby Jenks in the ninth inning wasted when Rob Mackowiak's fourth single scored pinch-runner Ryan Sweeney with the winning run to give the Sox a 7-6 victory before a TEP crowd of 11,746, nearly 3,600 better than their next best figure.

Who says Cubs' fans get nothing for the millions they donate to Tribune? They get ammo for the GREAT ATTENDANCE COUNTERARGUMENT. Apparently, this is also spring training for people who make excuses about losing, and it looks like Gonzales is prepping Cubs fans for another ugly season.

Well, as a wise Cubune Watcher once said, "You can raise the attendance flag."

In fact, you can have the attendance flag. We'd rather find seats available when we want to go to a game. Besides, let us remember that only one team in Chicago has ever drawn 1.75 million fans on a single day: The Chicago White Sox.

Meanwhile, Back on the Field...

Gonzales was so busy counting spectators in the stands Friday that he overlooked an actual, on-the-field baseball statistic: Javier Vazquez's six strikeouts in a little over four innings. So Gonzales seems confused as to why the pitcher and his manager were happy with his outing:

(Vazquez) was pulled with two outs in the fourth after Derrek Lee's RBI single, but Vazquez and Guillen were pleased with the effort.

Hmm. Wonder why. How excellent would it be if Tribune sportswriters watched the game instead of the stands and their stock prices? Pretty excellent. It would be like reading a legitimate newspaper.

Attorney General Monitoring Tribune

In January, the Columbia Journalism Review urged Tribune to get out of the newspaper business because its newspapers "aren't doing much public good." Now the Illinois Attorney General is monitoring the McCormick-Tribune Foundation because of worries that Tribune executives may be compromising the foundation's obligation to the public good.

In both cases, major watchdog institutions cast doubt upon Tribune's fidelity to its public obligations, and in both cases the Chicago Tribune has withheld these facts from the public by ignoring the story. What does that tell you about the newspaper's devotion to the public good?

The latest revelations appeared in the March 5 issue of Crain's Chicago Business. We won't repeat all the details here, since they are so cogently presented there, but here's a quick summary:

The McCormick-Tribune Foundation invests its assets almost entirely in Tribune stock, making it Tribune's second largest shareholder, which lets Tribune executives wave it around as a major chip in battles with the Chandler family and other parties. But because the foundation is invested almost entirely in Tribune stock, it is overexposed to the fortunes of that stock. The foundation lost about half of its value, about $1 billion, from 2003-2005, according to Crain's. During the same period, the S&P 500 Index rose about 13 percent. According to Crain's:

Foundations with more diversified investments have fared much better. For example, the Chicago-based John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation's assets climbed by nearly $1 billion during the two-year period ended in 2005 when McCormick's were declining by nearly $1 billion. The MacArthur Foundation posted an 18% investment return last year, boosting its assets to more than $6 billion.

As the McCormick-Tribune's fortunes have dwindled, so have its charitable contributions. So as Tribune stock declines, Chicago suffers, too. And that's just fine, apparently, with Tribune.

Notice the pattern: the foundation takes the shape of a charity but violates the best practices of charities to promote the financial agenda of the Tribune Company. The Chicago Tribune takes the appearance of a newspaper but violates the best practices of American newspapers to promote the financial agenda of the Tribune Company.

This is what we mean when we say Cubune: Whether it adopts the shape of a newspaper, a television station, a radio station, a magazine, a charity, a baseball team, Tribune acts in its own self interest — public good, public trust, and ethics be damned.

The Attorney General's Office is confirming what we wrote in January.

Reporter Finds Lost Optimism... Covering Cubs

Wow! What a difference a day makes! Tribune sportswriter Dave van Dyck, who has been writing about the White Sox for the last week as if he is covering the bubonic plague, finally has a happy, smiley, chipper story in the Tribune today. It also happens to be about the Cubs.

Either van Dyck's metaphorical impetigo cleared up really fast — a medical miracle — or our doctors' third diagnosis was correct all along: van Dyck is as crooked as as a bucket of snakes, in favor of the Cubs.

Let us take, as Exhibit A, van Dyck's dire estimation of the fact that the White Sox have not yet selected their fifth starter, published almost a week ago:

TUCSON, Ariz. -- This is not going according to the spring schedule. By now, the White Sox had hoped to anoint Gavin Floyd as their fifth starter, thus explaining the trades of Freddy Garcia to the Phillies and Brandon McCarthy to the Rangers. It's just that Floyd--and none of the others who has been given a chance at the vacancy--are cooperating.

And as Exhibit B, van Dyck's obliging treatment in today's Tribune of the fact that his beloved Cubbies have not one but TWO pitching vacancies even later in the same Spring Training:

TUCSON, Ariz. -- For a team that won only 66 games last season, the Cubs have a surprisingly settled roster this spring. Just two weeks into the Cactus League, only three spots remain open: A second backup middle infielder, which could mean a reprieve for Ronny Cedeno, and two pitching slots, both of which are nearer to being settled after Tuesday.

Goodness how the sun shines bright upon those surprisingly settled Cubs (but only according to the Tribune). Imagine what hellfire the White Sox would tread if they had TWO pitching vacancies (but again, only according to the Tribune).

Let's see what might happen if the Evil Dave who covers the White Sox were to replace the Good Dave who covers the Cubs. In other words, what would it look like if Dave applied his chronic pessimism about the Sox to the Cubs? We think it would look something like this:

TUCSON, Ariz. —With Spring Training nearly half over, Mark Prior is packing for the minor leagues, Kerry Wood's ERA is higher than he can count on his fingers, Wade Miller has been inconsistent, Carlos Zambrano scared the bejesus out of everyone in our tower when he fell down, and Lou Piniella has failed to secure a pitching staff that can steer this $300 million Titanic into the post-season.

But any Tribune writer faced with such dark thoughts about the company team knows what to do: just lie back and think of Tribune.

We Have Reason to Suspect It's Contagious

The diagnosis is in. Our team of medical experts has analyzed the recent work of Tribune sportswriter Dave van Dyck and determined that he must be suffering a persistent and uncomfortable rash in his dark and humid regions that causes him to write stories with the personality of a toxic pestilence. Either that or he thinks you're supposed to cover a baseball team by being relentlessly and absurdly negative, even if you have to make stuff up.

Or, the doctors' third premise: maybe he just really lubbs his Cubbies.

Yesterday van Dyck came out with a story about a Baseball Prospectus computer projection that the White Sox would finish 72-90 this year.

van Dyck's story is notable as a specimen of foul journalism in part because it's really old. Once again, that august daily, the Chicago Tribune, self-styled as "the world's greatest newspaper," was scooped by more than two weeks by a bunch of Sox fans chatting on WhiteSoxInteractive.com. And once again, the post from WSI, dated Feb. 26, amounts to better journalism than the suspicious substance published in the Tribune under Dave van Dyck's grumpy byline.

Better because the WSI discussion immediately put the prediction in context by revealing that the same software predicted the White Sox would finish 71-91 in 2005. Does anyone recall what happened in 2005? van Dyck does include that salient fact in his story, but he buries it in the final paragraphs. Of course, if he had put it on top, readers would have naturally wondered, "So why, Dave, are you bothering to do this story?"

And then Dave would have had to confess, "I have this itchy rash you see..."

Despite the fact that the "news" in van Dyck's story was a) profoundly undermined by the 2005 counterexample, and b) effectively more than two weeks old, Tribune-owned Chicagosports.com, which is operated by confessed Cub fan George Knue, ran it as the lead sports story on Sunday. Meanwhile, Knue's top Cubs story was about Sammy Sosa, who, last we checked, plays for the Texas Rangers.

Hey, have you heard the Tribune's new motto? "If it happens in Chicago, it's news to us."

Much more accurate than "world's greatest newspaper," anyway.

Chicago Grammar & Spelling Watch

We've mentioned before that a standard marker of newspaper quality is copy free from mistakes of grammar and spelling. If a staff takes pride in its newspaper, if executive editors insist on quality, and if the many editors who read the copy are really paying attention to what they're reading, then words will be spelled correctly and grammar will be correct. If that's not the case, it's usually a bad sign. It can be a sign of problems much more serious than grammar and spelling mistakes. It can be a sign of a staff that doesn't take pride in its newspaper, executive editors who don't insist on quality, and many editors who read copy without really paying attention to what they're reading. In that regard, mistakes of grammar and spelling can help explain much larger problems, such as violations of ethical standards and violations of public trust, including the neglect of ethical disclosure and the exploitation of journalistic resources to generate profits through advertorial synergies and Cubs ticket and merchandise sales.

All newspapers let mistakes slip into print. We at CCW make mistakes, too, although we don't have a staff of paid copy editors to catch them. But the Tribune, despite its staff of paid copy editors, makes mistakes routinely, and more often, we'd bet, than any other major metropolitan daily of its size. Here are some examples, collected in the last few days by the Chicago Cubune Watch's Indefatigable Schoolmarm (whose very moniker makes us reach for the dictionary):

A March 10 story today by David Heinzman, which describes a tragic incident, includes these sentences:

A woman was "screaming at a woman who asked her not to play with a guide Seeing Eye dog for the blind..."

Sounds like they couldn't decide what kind of dog it was. The story goes on:

"When she did not, they arrested her for trespassingcq and put her in a cell overnight."

CQ is editor lingo for "correct." That CQ probably means that yes, someone in the newsroom made a phone call and confirmed that the arrest was for trespassing. It's good news, as far as we're concerned, that the Tribune verifies a fact now and then. However, the reader's not supposed to see the CQ. The story goes on:

"Police officials have acknowledged that officers did not seek mental health care for Eilman in the more than 29 27 hours she was in custody."

Was she in custody for 29 hours? 27 hours? 2,927 hours? One can only wonder. The same story:

"One detective, who is not a defendant in the lawsuit, described Eilman as looking lost after she was released, making making a sign of the cross on her chest before wandering off."

Did she make the sign twice? Let's move to another story, this time in the Sports section. Below is an example of Tribune grammar in a March 8 story by Dave van Dyck, who has recently become one of the Tribune's more intolerable sportswriters:

"It's just that Floyd—and none of the others who has been given a chance at the vacancy—are cooperating."

The long clause that confused van Dyck is likely to confuse readers, too, so let's break it down to subject and verb: "Floyd and none... are cooperating." Make sense? Don't worry, we're probably better off when Dave's not making sense than we are when he's making stuff up. By the way, there are two grammatical errors in van Dyck's sentence. We've only discussed one. You get a gold star if you can find the second.

A good copy editor ought to have this next example of Tribune grammar on his or her pet-peeve list. This is from a March 7 story by reporter Phillip Hersh:

"The U.S. Olympic Committee group touring some of Chicago's proposed 2016 venues today hopefully brought boots."

The group hopefully brought boots. Literally, this means that the group was full of hope when they brought boots. Because they were hoping they'd have a chance to wear their boots? Because they think they look hot in boots? What Phillip means, we guess, is that he, Phillip, hopes they brought boots, because it's been raining: "I hope the group brought boots."

We wish we could read the Tribune without having to wear boots.

Time Passes Differently for Sox, Cubs

Two Tribune stories published on the same day: One story says the Cubs have plenty of time left to determine their fifth starter. The other argues that the White Sox should have selected their fifth starter by now! First, Dave van Dyck, poking the White Sox in the eye:

TUCSON, Ariz. -- This is not going according to the spring schedule.

By now, the White Sox had hoped to anoint Gavin Floyd as their fifth starter, thus explaining the trades of Freddy Garcia to the Phillies and Brandon McCarthy to the Rangers. It's just that Floyd—and none of the others who has been given a chance at the vacancy—are cooperating.

Now here's Paul Sullivan patting his Cubbies on the bottom:

MESA, Ariz. -- With one start down and five to go, Wade Miller is the front-runner in his bid to capture the fifth spot in the Cubs rotation.

Just don't tell Miller. "I've only had one outing," he said.

The Cubs and White Sox are in the same Spring league, so how can it be that the White Sox are behind schedule but the Cubs have plenty of time? It's obviously just a matter of perception, and the Tribune is dedicated to perceiving the White Sox as darkly as possible while perceiving their precious Cubbies with Disney-like cheer. At least as long as tickets are on sale.

Worse, van Dyck, who has been known to stretch the truth, attributes his statements to the White Sox, but neither Ken Williams nor Ozzie Guillen nor Don Cooper have been quoted saying they should have chosen their fifth starter by now. In fact, Ozzie contradicts van Dyck's statement in the very same story. Ozzie says, "Everyone is throwing the ball good," and, "We have to wait and see what we are going to do."

Wait and see. Isn't that what the Cubs have plenty of time to do?

Since those stories were published, Wade Miller pitched again for the Cubs, allowing eight of the 13 batters he faced to reach base. In his story today, Paul Sullivan emphasizes "the silver lining" in that performance. Wow. It must be great to be a Cub. You've got endless time to ponder your silver lining.

The Tribune is trying mightily to locate a pitching crisis on the South Side, where the White Sox have an overabundance of young talent, rather than on the North Side, where the Cubs spent $300 million this off-season without assembling the kind of pitching staff that can see a team through the playoffs. Fortunately, there's no sign that anyone outside of the Tower buys into any of the rubbish they print on the Sports page. Chicago knows better.

p.s. A good sentence for grammarians (and copy editors) to study: "It's just that Floyd—and none of the others who has been given a chance at the vacancy—are cooperating."

Thanks to Cubune Watcher Brett Ballantini for spotting the slant.

See Dave Cover His Own Ass

It's really hard to figure why Dave van Dyck is covering Mark Buerhle's contract negotiations today, since Dave van Dyck himself reported on Jan. 11 that Mark Buerhle is already gone. Any reporter worth his newsprint would confess to the error of that earlier report and admit that the controversy it caused was his mistake and his responsibility.

Instead, van Dyck and his Tribune colleagues -- now including the "backward thinking" Phil Rogers -- are covering their own asses by covering Buerhle's contract as if it's the only thing on the field, and with a fatalism belied by reality. I seem to remember them doing exactly the same thing with Paul Konerko's contract a couple years back while Paulie quietly led the team to the first World Series victory Chicago had seen in nine decades. Then Paulie re-signed with the White Sox.

Hey, sportswriters, you're in Tucson, it's sunny, why not try covering baseball?

Tribune Only Sees Trouble to the South

We're not surprised to find William Ligue Jr. back in the Tribune just in time for opening day. When tickets are on sale, the Tribune likes to evoke the illusion of U.S. Cellular Field as a dangerous place and keep the crowds coming to Tribune-owned Wrigley, even though people are raped and murdered more often near Wrigley than near U.S. Cellular. Two people have been murdered after attending Cubs games in the last two years, and that's not counting the corpse found in a Wrigley Field honeyhut with a needle in its arm.

William Ligue is the Tribune's favorite tool for stereotyping Sox fans, even though Ligue also attended a game at Wrigley on the day he attacked Royals coach Tom Gamboa.

But wait, you say, maybe everything a ballpark brawler and his family does is simply newsworthy. Could that be it? If so, you'd expect the Tribune to provide equal coverage of Ronald Camacho, who got into a brawl with a bunch of Los Angeles Dodgers at Wrigley Field in 2000. But notice the difference in story counts:

Tribune stories about William Ligue since May 1, 2002: 51.
Tribune stories about Ronald Camacho since May 1, 2000: 4.

Both cases resulted in mutliple court cases and legislative action, yet the Tribune prefers not to cover ugly incidents at Wrigley.

Word to the wise: Even though the Tribune loves to perpetuate the deception that Wrigley is safer than U.S. Cellular, ballpark brawlers are much better off picking their fights at Wrigley, where they can count on the Tribune to cover up their actions. What ever happened to that woman who threw a ball at Jacque Jones' head last year, demonstrating more accuracy and velocity than most of the Cubs' pitching staff? Those crack investigative reporters at the Chicago Tribune couldn't be bothered to cross the hall in the Tribune Tower to find out what that was all about.

Thanks to Cubune Watcher Dan Grillo for the heads up on this report.

Meet the Southside: It Ain't Whatchu Tink

Thinking of venturing to the Southside? Visit the Southside Chicago Board of Tourism first, to get the lay of the land. Not only does the site have a currency converter and a language translator, it also answers essential questions that travelers might have such as:

• Will my cell phone work on the Southside?
• Is the Southside in a different time zone?
• What exactly is a parking space?
• I like to eat. Will there be food on the Southside?

We have a sneaking suspicion that White Sox marketing might be behind this project. But that's okay, since Cubs marketing—aka the Tribune—has been giving people the wrong idea about the Southside for decades.

Hey Tribune, You're Standing in a Puddle

Sigmund Freud wrote about something called "leakage" that happens when unconscious impulses ooze and drip and splatter and spill into daily life. Our Tribune frequently arrives wet from just such leakage, and here's a good example of incontinence in a story published yesterday at Chicagotribune.com and Chicagosports.com:

"The signing (of Vazquez) means that 60 percent of the Sox's rotation — Jon Garland, Jose Contreras and Vazquez — are signed through 2008. Vazquez's signing also increases the likelihood that popular left-hander Mark Buehrle will leave for free agency after the season."

Why does the signing of Vazquez increase the likelihood that Buehrle will leave after the season? Can you think of a reason? Neither can we. And neither, it turns out, can Mark Buerhle, who had this to say later in the day, as quoted in a later story:

"Congrats to Javy," Buehrle said. "I don't think it has any effect on my outlook."

After Buehrle made that comment, the Tribune pulled the earlier story, but the leakage was already out there, splashed all over their khakis.

As one Cubune Watcher pointed out, the Tribune could have spun Vazquez's signing the other way, like this: "The signing solidifies the White Sox pitching staff through 2008, increasing the likelihood that popular left-hander Mark Buerhle will want to re-sign before his current contract expires at the end of this season." The Tribune often spins a signing as a positive incentive for other players to stay with a team... when the Tribune wants to spin positive. But a lot of Tribune writers desperately want to see Mark Buerhle leave the White Sox, for no greater reason than they've already reported, erroneously, that Mark Buehrle is gone.

What better way to save face than to see Mark Buerhle actually leave? Then Mark Gonzales and Dave van Dyck and their ilk can claim to be prescient instead of looking incompetent and unethical.

So we can look forward to a year of the Chicago Tribune showing Mark Buerhle the door at every hint of an opportunity. Likewise, the Tribune has criticized Ken William's pitching acquistions all winter, so we can expect a less than objective Tribune to seize every opportunity to make those young pitchers look bad and to ignore, as much as possible, every game that makes them look good. What fun.

Is it really too much to ask, in a city the size of Chicago, to have a real newspaper staffed by real professionals instead of a tower full of malicious bunglers with investments, both personal and financial, in the exclusive success of the Cubs?

Tribune Hypocrisy Watch

In his March 3 column, Tribune columnist Phil Rogers pointedly pointed out that radio host Mike North referred to the White Sox as "we" during an interview with Ozzie Guillen.

In a column today, Tribune columnist Mike Downey refers to the Cubs as "our boys in blue."

Or is it okay to use second person if you actually own the team? Like, the Cubs are the Tribune's office softball squad.

"Necessity Never Made a Good Bargain"

For most of this off-season Tribune writers have been criticizing Ken Williams' efforts to bring young pitchers to the White Sox while spilling praise all over Jim Hendry's $300 million effort to buy the Cubs a quick World Series. On Sunday, a squad largely composed of White Sox bench players and minor leaguers beat that $300-million team 13-2, and in the process, the White Sox trotted out four of those new young pitchers without giving up a run.

We've been waiting to see if anyone at the Tribune has the cojones to say, at minimum, "Gee, maybe we were wrong." Well, you guessed it: no one does. Tribune columnist Mike Downey even managed to avoid the topic while writing on the topic today.

Couldn't help noticing Aramis Ramirez lollygagging his way up the first-base line after hitting into an inning-ending double-play on Sunday. We saw a lot of that from Aramis last year. Nonetheless, when Jim Hendry wrote a $75 million check to keep Ramirez in Cubbie blue, the Tribune forgot all about those slow jogs to first and called the deal a "bargain." No such praise when the Sox signed Joe Crede, who can actually hit and run and field, for $5 million. You see the slant.

Can't wait to see how Piniella reacts when fly balls start bouncing off of Ramirez's head.

A Phil Rogers Sampler

Since White Sox fans rarely get their letters printed in the Tribune, some of them send copies to us, and lately a lot of those letters have been about Tribune columnist Phil Rogers. It's difficult to describe the inherent indignity of having Rogers cover your team. It's difficult because there's no way to describe Rogers' work without using words that make you sound like you're exaggerating. Columnists like Jay Mariotti get under your skin because they're petty, exploitative, and unprincipled; Rogers gets under your skin because he seems so lost at sea, as if he doesn't think about what he's writing. Sometimes Rogers is like the weather in Chicago: if you don't like what he writes, just wait a couple paragraphs and he'll write some version of the opposite. Where else in the world does a major metropolitan newspaper employ columnists who seem less capable than the average fan? Only in the Tribune. Here's a sampling of recent comments we have received about Phil Rogers:

In Rogers' column today he has the audacity to be miffed when Mike North made the comment "we" in referring to the White Sox in a Guillen interview. Imagine that, someone acting like they are in bed with the Sox.

Phil Rogers takes shots today at Ozzie Guillen for toeing the company line. For anyone who has read Phil Rogers, I don't think I have to mention that old saying — something about a pot, a kettle, and the color black.... Mr. Rogers, as you say about Ozzie, we all know who butters your bread.

Rogers rips Kenny Williams for trading for young pitchers and then in the same article takes a shot at him for trading prospects for Mike MacDougal. Kenny, you just can't win. Last month Rogers used his Sunday sports column stepping all over himself praising the Cleveland Indians for strengthening their bullpen by signing and trading for old retreads nobody else wanted. Keith Foulke (since retired), Roberto Herndandez (last seen blowing out 58 birthday candles), the Great Joe Borowski, Matt Miller, Aaron Fultz, etc....

[Rogers says] we should all question the Cotts-for-Aardsma trade because longtime Cub scouts (unnamed, of course - which makes you wonder if he didn't just make this part up) were asking how the White Sox could make such a trade. The Cubs' scouts have such a great track record that us Sox fans should all be wondering the same thing?

Phil Rogers wrote an article that was actually praising the changes the White Sox made to U.S. Cellular to make the place a "very nice place to watch baseball." Okay, that's great, the Tribune prints a three-paragraph article complimenting U.S. Cellular. But they can't write something good about the Sox and leave it at that. Directly under that article is their list of the top-ten parks in the majors and, surprise, they have Wrigley and Fenway tied as the number two parks. They can't say U.S. Cellular is a nice place without claiming Wrigley is better.

Manufactured BS: Back page, Phil Rogers lists Ozzie as among five managers "who start the season under the gun."

Tribune Continues to Charm Los Angeles

Tribune is sitting on a powderkeg of anger in Los Angeles and, it turns out, playing with matches. The Tribune-owned Los Angeles Times is receiving another dose of angry letters and subscription cancellations after a Tribune executive implied that Times readers don't care about national and internationl news during an interview broadcast Tuesday on Frontline. A representative of the capital firm that is Tribune's fifth largest investor, Charles Bobrinskoy, said the LA Times doesn't need foreign bureaus to cater to its audience:

They've decided that they have to be a national newspaper with international coverage. They've got over 20 foreign bureaus, including bureaus in Istanbul and Cairo. Nobody is reading the L.A. Times wanting to find out what's happening in Istanbul, so it's critical that the L.A. Times figure out what it is, which is a provider of local news about what's going on in Southern California.

Below you'll find a sampling of letters to the editor printed in today's Times. These are just the few letters the Times saw fit to print. There are more comments in forums on the Frontline site.

Tuesday night on PBS' "Frontline," the Tribune Co. is reported as directing the focus of the Los Angeles Times toward local news. The company apparently feels that The Times should no longer aim to be a leader in national and international news. What it fails to realize is that Los Angeles is not just another city. We are a world-leading city and are not willing to put up with the backwater status that Chicago has always felt we deserve.

Yes, we want good local coverage. But we are better than relying on other news sources for information about our world and nation. The direction of the Tribune Co. is insulting and further evidence it should sell the paper to someone who cares about it.

PHIL HOSKINS
West Hollywood

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On "Frontline," a man from a management company that owns a great deal of Tribune stock said people in Los Angeles aren't concerned about world events; that L.A. is concerned about style and fashion and culture and sports and where to find a really good sushi bar, and that that's where the L.A. Times should focus its energies.

The world's a really scary place. Please keep feeding us, the vapid masses from L.A., more mindless crap. Put Paris Hilton on the front page and stay away from places like Walter Reed hospital, the Middle East and Africa because, according to the gentleman from the management company, some other news organizations are already covering the world.

MICHAEL SACHS
Los Angeles

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I have just watched "Frontline" on KCET on the problems of journalism in our country, with an in-depth section on the L.A. Times. I was filled with deep anger and resentment at what has happened to our newspaper. I feel personally offended at the Wall Street gentleman telling me that I want to read only local news or news of the entertainment industry. I am shocked and can think of nothing but canceling my subscription to The Times.

LUBA FISCHER
Los Angeles

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The people of a great city want and deserve a great newspaper that will deliver the world to their doorstep, while delivering their own distinctive voice to the world. We can get local news from plenty of other sources.

Why should I have to buy the New York Times in addition to the Los Angeles Times in order to feel like I am getting the big picture?

The problem with that man from the management company is that he sees Los Angeles as a small town that only cares about style and entertainment. He seems to think that the citizens of Los Angeles don't have any interest in the world beyond our own borders. He doesn't understand what it means to our city to have a newspaper of national importance. The Tribune Co.'s pursuit of short-term profits has nearly ruined our newspaper.

MICHAEL GASTALDO
Santa Monica

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It is a shame that you are turning this world-class paper into a shell of itself. How much profit is enough? Stop the downsizing and maybe I'll renew my subscription.

WILLIAM TURCHYN II
Los Angeles