Tribune Begins Propagandizing 2008

Here's the headline for puffery concealed as a story on the 2008 Cubbies' schedule:

Cubs begin '08 on familiar turf

A truer headline might have pointed out that the turf will be soggy, pot-holed, and may or may not still be Tribune-owned. But it's clear the sale hasn't gone through yet. Same story, White Sox:

Early jaunt west may trip up Sox

The White Sox-schedule story basically highlights all the ways the 2008 White Sox will get their asses kicked. Over at the Tribune Tower, they're getting a head start on next season by pre-writing their stories. Tribune beat-Sox reporter Mark Gonzales highlights some obvious series—Cleveland, Boston, etc.—that will be tough. But he even rounds up the Minnesotas and Oaklands. Look at San Francisco:

Despite San Francisco's terrible 2007 record, the Giants have two of the majors' better young pitchers in Matt Cain and Tim Lincecum.

There you go, two losses. And then:

The Sox haven't fared well on the West Coast since 2001, and they make four trips there in 2008.

Hmm. We seem to remember a sweep on the West Coast in October 2005. The Sox had a winning record on the West Coast in 2005 and played .500 ball on the West Coast in 2006.

Worse, Gonzo has the Sox trembling in their boots at the thought of having to face, you guessed it, the Cubbies. As if the Cubs are actually good this year, rather than just the sole survivors of some powerful suction in the basement of the National League Central Division. Watchout Southsiders, here come the Cubs in their blue pajamas, clinging to their cartoon teddy bears.

Paul Sullivan's Cubbies-schedule story is unsurprisingly lighter. It's also better written. But dig the ending:

• Greg Maddux enters the final year of a two-year contract with San Diego, and though he might pitch beyond 2008, the Padres' May 12-15 appearance could be his Wrigley Field swan song. Look for tickets to that series to be snapped up quickly by fans hoping to see Maddux's final start at Clark and Addison.

Sullivan's knee-jerk response to the yearly memo—pump up those ticket sales, boys!—belies the fact that the Tribune won't own the Cubbies in May 2008. Or will it?

• The first rematch against Arizona will take place May 9-11 at Wrigley. The Diamondbacks swept the Cubs out of this year's division series. Whether Cubs fans can build some animosity towards the D'backs is questionable because the Cubs basically beat themselves.

The Cubs basically beat themselves. We're not sure which connotation of "beat themselves" Sully intends. Both self-flagellation and masturbation are two things the Cubbies have done extensively for 100 years.

• If the Cubs are to reach the postseason in back-to-back seasons for the first time since 1907-08, they'll have to play well on the road in the final month. They'll play 19 of their 25 games on the road in September, including the last seven in New York and Milwaukee.

Ouch. Why doesn't this news make it into the headline? Nineteen of their last 25 games on the road. The Cubs were swept by the Florida Marlins in the September of this, their glorious Division-championship season, so how are they going to win a game in the last month against two semi-real teams? Isn't this bigger, ugglier news than the Sox's early trip West?


(Thanks to Brett Ballantini for this post)