Tribune: Congratulations Tribune!!!
1. Stuart Dybeck, who hails from and writes about Chicago, won a $500,000 MacArthur genius grant. The Tribune headline: "Stuart Dybek: We knew he was a genius all along." Yeah, sure, congrats Stu, but first and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS TRIBUNE! And not because the Tribune ever actually said Dybek was a genius or predicted his grant — no, they just want a piece of his cake. The first piece, thank you very much. Next, we predict, the McCormick-Tribune Foundation will purchase Stuart Dybek and rename him The McCormick-Tribune Stuart Dybek.
Maybe the Tribune finally learned its lesson from 1951, when it compared Nelson Algren's "Chicago, City on the Make" to a piece of excrement. That little book just turned out to be the best prose portrait of Chicago ever written. New strategy: instead of panning great literature upon its debut, wait for writer to win award, then claim the achievement as your own. Genius, Tribune, sheer genius. Congratulations, Tribune! You should get the genius grant!
2. Some guy gets convicted for conning churches out of their properties. Who nailed him: the police? the district attorney? Spiderman? No... the Tribune! Here's their subhed: "Tribune Investigation shed light on scheme, alerted others to thefts." God thanks you, Tribune. Since we have you wearing your tin star, maybe we don't actually need police or a district attorney. That would save the taxpayers money. Congratulations, Tribune!
(Also, notice that Tribune Investigation is capitalized, unlike the rest of the headline, as if a Tribune Investigation is a proper noun, like, I dunno, The Untouchables. Watchout badguys!)
3. Congressman resigns after failing to disclose beachfront property he owns in Nicaragua. Tribune writes (on Sept. 22, 2007), "A Tribune investigation recently revealed Weller failed to disclose several Nicaraguan land transactions on his congressional ethics forms." Wow, Tribune, you're keeping the politicians honest! Congratulations, Tribune! Except, are you honest yourself? Because can you actually disclose something that was reported in the Chicago Reader almost a year earlier (Oct. 25, 2006)?
http://www.chicagoreader.com/features/stories/wellerbeach/
Shame on you, Tribune. And let this be a lesson to you, Chicagoans: if you visit the Tribune Tower, keep your hand on your wallet. If they'll steal credit for your grant, your hard work, and your scoop, they'll steal anything.
Maybe the Tribune finally learned its lesson from 1951, when it compared Nelson Algren's "Chicago, City on the Make" to a piece of excrement. That little book just turned out to be the best prose portrait of Chicago ever written. New strategy: instead of panning great literature upon its debut, wait for writer to win award, then claim the achievement as your own. Genius, Tribune, sheer genius. Congratulations, Tribune! You should get the genius grant!
2. Some guy gets convicted for conning churches out of their properties. Who nailed him: the police? the district attorney? Spiderman? No... the Tribune! Here's their subhed: "Tribune Investigation shed light on scheme, alerted others to thefts." God thanks you, Tribune. Since we have you wearing your tin star, maybe we don't actually need police or a district attorney. That would save the taxpayers money. Congratulations, Tribune!
(Also, notice that Tribune Investigation is capitalized, unlike the rest of the headline, as if a Tribune Investigation is a proper noun, like, I dunno, The Untouchables. Watchout badguys!)
3. Congressman resigns after failing to disclose beachfront property he owns in Nicaragua. Tribune writes (on Sept. 22, 2007), "A Tribune investigation recently revealed Weller failed to disclose several Nicaraguan land transactions on his congressional ethics forms." Wow, Tribune, you're keeping the politicians honest! Congratulations, Tribune! Except, are you honest yourself? Because can you actually disclose something that was reported in the Chicago Reader almost a year earlier (Oct. 25, 2006)?
http://www.chicagoreader.com/features/stories/wellerbeach/
Shame on you, Tribune. And let this be a lesson to you, Chicagoans: if you visit the Tribune Tower, keep your hand on your wallet. If they'll steal credit for your grant, your hard work, and your scoop, they'll steal anything.
Labels: Chicago Tribune
posted by Chicago Cubune Watch permalink
