Reporter Finds Lost Optimism... Covering Cubs

Wow! What a difference a day makes! Tribune sportswriter Dave van Dyck, who has been writing about the White Sox for the last week as if he is covering the bubonic plague, finally has a happy, smiley, chipper story in the Tribune today. It also happens to be about the Cubs.

Either van Dyck's metaphorical impetigo cleared up really fast — a medical miracle — or our doctors' third diagnosis was correct all along: van Dyck is as crooked as as a bucket of snakes, in favor of the Cubs.

Let us take, as Exhibit A, van Dyck's dire estimation of the fact that the White Sox have not yet selected their fifth starter, published almost a week ago:

TUCSON, Ariz. -- This is not going according to the spring schedule. By now, the White Sox had hoped to anoint Gavin Floyd as their fifth starter, thus explaining the trades of Freddy Garcia to the Phillies and Brandon McCarthy to the Rangers. It's just that Floyd--and none of the others who has been given a chance at the vacancy--are cooperating.

And as Exhibit B, van Dyck's obliging treatment in today's Tribune of the fact that his beloved Cubbies have not one but TWO pitching vacancies even later in the same Spring Training:

TUCSON, Ariz. -- For a team that won only 66 games last season, the Cubs have a surprisingly settled roster this spring. Just two weeks into the Cactus League, only three spots remain open: A second backup middle infielder, which could mean a reprieve for Ronny Cedeno, and two pitching slots, both of which are nearer to being settled after Tuesday.

Goodness how the sun shines bright upon those surprisingly settled Cubs (but only according to the Tribune). Imagine what hellfire the White Sox would tread if they had TWO pitching vacancies (but again, only according to the Tribune).

Let's see what might happen if the Evil Dave who covers the White Sox were to replace the Good Dave who covers the Cubs. In other words, what would it look like if Dave applied his chronic pessimism about the Sox to the Cubs? We think it would look something like this:

TUCSON, Ariz. —With Spring Training nearly half over, Mark Prior is packing for the minor leagues, Kerry Wood's ERA is higher than he can count on his fingers, Wade Miller has been inconsistent, Carlos Zambrano scared the bejesus out of everyone in our tower when he fell down, and Lou Piniella has failed to secure a pitching staff that can steer this $300 million Titanic into the post-season.

But any Tribune writer faced with such dark thoughts about the company team knows what to do: just lie back and think of Tribune.