A New Curse for a New Era

Speaking of questionable things presented as real, Mike Downey writes a rambling, incoherent column today about a new Cubs' curse, perpetuating a mythology that helps Tribune separate fools from their money — that is to say, a mythology that helps Tribune extract up to $255 per ticket from rubes willing to sit in uncomfortable seats in an ugly, crumbling stadium eating bad food, drinking bad beer, and watching a last-place team lose. Why am I slamming my head against this wall? Well, there's a curse you see.

Can people really be that gullible? Well, people blew up the Bartman ball and then ate it in their spaghetti.

But this is the dawning of a new era in Cubdom, the Alfonso Soriano era, the Lou Piniella era, the gulp, we-just-spent-$300 million era, the higher-ticket-prices era, so the old goats and mostly-black cats just do not apply. To prepare the fans for another year of even more expensive disappointment, Downey spins them a new curse. Except this one makes even less sense than the last few. Something about George M. Cohan. Just about anything can be a curse these days.

Cubune Watcher Brian Dykes thinks the Tribune can't be serious: "What is funnier to read nowadays, the Cubune or the Onion? It is hard to chose!"

If you'd like to read more about the oft-cursed Cubune, Downey's performance is getting rave reviews on the Flying Sock Forum.

Extry! Extry! Get Yer Cubs Tix— er, Tribune!

Paul Sullivan, who claims he doesn't like working for the Cubs' house-organ, sounds a lot like a box-office clerk in his story yesterday about increased ticket prices at Wrigley Field. He's got every detail you'd ever want to know about buying Cubs tickets: how, where, when, what to bring (two forms of ID!), what to wear (your numbered bracelet), what radio station to listen to (WGN, of course), what number to call, what other number to call, and hey, we take credit cards! Check it out:

As expected, the Cubs announced Tuesday a $2 across-the-board increase in prices for the majority of individual tickets, which go on sale at Wrigley at 8 a.m. Feb. 23, and through phone and Internet outlets at 10 a.m. that day. Ticket prices for the two premium seating areas--the bullpen boxes and the dugout boxes--rose $5. The Cubs have yet to announce when those and the bleacher boxes (up $2) will go on sale....

In what has become an annual tradition, fans hoping to purchase tickets will have to go to Wrigley Field on Feb. 21 or 22 to receive a numbered wristband, and the order of numbers will be announced on WGN-AM after a 6 a.m. drawing Feb. 23. Any fan buying tickets at Wrigley will need two forms of identification, including a government-issued photo ID.

There will be a limit of six tickets per game at the box office and 42 maximum, and all bleacher tickets must be purchased with a credit card. The numbers for ticket orders over the phone are 800-843-2827 and, for out-of-state callers, 866-652-2827. The Cubs' Web site will begin accepting customers in its virtual waiting room at 9:30 a.m., and all customers will need a valid cubs.com account.

Now, that's news you can use, Cubs fans! The Tribune also ran a story about Sox tickets a while back, but it was less than a fifth that length. Life is so much simpler in the South.