Soriano Watch Reluctantly Resumes

Yes, it's true. You are all quite correct. A picture of Alfonso Soriano smiling has topped the Tribune online Sports page for four consecutive days now, just as one did for five days earlier this month, and for perhaps six days in late November. That makes 15 days out of the last 27 that a smiling photo of Alfonso Soriano has led the Tribune Sports page online. During football season. Yep. This really isn't that much fun anymore. It's like the Tribune is designing the Sports page just for the Cubune Watch now. It's like going fishing and the fish jumps into your boat before you can even bait the hook. But wait. It's a really smelly carp.

To explain why the Tribune is so enamored of Alfonso Soriano, let us ponder Alfonso's statistics, so far, as a Chicago athlete, courtesy of baseballreference.com:

Year Ag Tm Lg G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI SB CS BB SO BA OBP SLG
+--------------+---+----+----+----+---+--+---+----+---+--+
2007 31 CHC NL 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000

That doesn't do it for you? Well, there is one other statistic: $136 million. And who has to pay that amount? Yes, the Tribune. Maybe that explains why they're covering him like the Second Coming of Michael Jordan. If I were a Tribster, I would want to see the guy play at least one game in his new blue pajamas, you know the ones, with the cartoon baby bear on them, before I dropped to my knees.