Reason #21: We Want Your Money

Splashed across the Tribune media today is a story by Paul Sullivan entitled, "20 Reasons to Keep Watching the Cubs." Sullivan has evolved into quite the team player since the day Andy McPhail and Jim Hendry chewed him out for failing to toe the Cubune line. Sullivan's latest story begins like this:

With football season kicking off and school days on the horizon, it's hard to find a good reason to justify spending three hours a day following a lost cause like the Cubs.

Indeed. Then come the 20 reasons, none of which I found particularly compelling. It's fun watching Dusty try to keep this job? Not really. D-Lee might be back in September? Big wup. The ivy is turning autumn colors? Gag me.

Here's the reason Sullivan omitted, which we might describe as the real reason the Tribune wants you to keep watching the Cubs. It comes from Tribune employee benefits documents:

21. "Tribune believes that employees and shareholders have long-term goals and interests that can best be realized through increased employee ownership in the company. Tribune's retirement and savings plans include a combination of stock ownership as well as a 401(k) plan to help employees secure their financial future."

That's right, folks. Every ass in a seat in Wrigley puts a penny in the pocket of those objective reporters who bring you the news. What more reason does a docile pawn of the media need to be a loyal Cubs fan? Come on, everybody, be a sport and sing along: Everybody loves the Cubs! Everybody loves the Cubs! It’s baseball time again, here on WGN!