Stop the Presses! Tribune Owns Cubs!

In today's Tribune, columnist Fred Mitchell throws some lovely slow-pitch softballs to Cubs President Andy McPhail, but McPhail doesn't hit them out of the park, he dodges them. Mitchell asks McPhail, for instance, to clarify the relationship between the Cubs and the Tribune. Does this clarify anything for you?

Mitchell (Tribune): For those who are not familiar with the line of demarcation between the Tribune newspaper and the Cubs organization, perhaps you could clarify?

McPhail (Cubs): Certainly, we have no influence with the Chicago Tribune. I think we showed that to everyone's satisfaction. I will say Tribune (Co.) has been our owner and they have provided us with resources to do better on the field than we have this year. If you go back and look at our payroll in 2004, we were the third highest in the National League. In 2005 our payroll was the third highest. Right now, in 2006, our payroll is either the second or third highest, depending on how you calculate it. So they have certainly given us the resources to try to build off the success that the team enjoyed in 2003.

1. "I think we showed that to everyone's satisfaction." ? First of all, who's "we"? The Cubs, the Tribune, the Tribune and the Cubs, the Cubune Media Empire? Secondly, I don't think you've shown it to anyone's satisfaction. White Sox fans and Cubs fans alike widely believe the Tribune favors the Cubs. And according to the Tribune, Cubs executives think so too. The Tribune-media bias is openly discussed on Chicago talk radio. And there's plenty of evidence on this site.

2. Then there's this stunning revelation: "I will say Tribune has been our owner..." Wow. Who knew? I'm surprised Mitchell doesn't have a Pulitzer on his shelf for pulling this kind of confession out of reluctant sources.

3. Then all this talk of payroll. Fred runs into Andy at the Tribune Tower water cooler. Fred says, "Hey Andy, could you clarify our relationship?" "Sure Fred," says Andy. "Lots of money."

Thanks for clarifying, Fred and Andy. We all feel much better now.